Sunday, July 17, 2011

Change of Mind

Who Says Change Doesn't Happen in a Moment?

Yesterday the aunt that supported me all this time and encouraged me to do the things that she would not do embarrassed me in front of strangers when she asked what my goals was by the time I reach age 35. I told her my goal was to have a multinational corporation, and she scoffed. I thought that she off all people should understand my calling. And, then I felt like Joseph, betrayed of him brothers. My best friend is calling me a baby (childish). My other best friend is too involved in her vain desires to hear me, and then, one that I really truly believed in me...wow.

So, my decision after that moment was "I'll show her." But, I woke up this morning and it was strange. Suddenly, I had the strength to be despised for making strides instead of not making them.

My mother reminded me that I was not afraid to go bouldering without rope and a mat. She reminded me that I was not afraid to drive from Flagstaff to Los Angeles or to drive from Florida to New York City. She said to transfer that courage. But, it was not a matter of being brave in those situations. I did not have past hurts in dealing with driving or climbing to cause fear. But dealing with people, people have been unkind, betrayed me, and said all kinds to bring me down.

This is my greatest mountain to climb.

I say again. I will not keep a log of what I will do. I will keep a log of what I have done, and work from my strength: writing. I have it. If I can consider the many ways to communicate and encourage everyone to pick the one that best suits them, that will be a world of difference.

I have a big intention here. I want to fund the Call in Detroit on 11-11-11. I have not had such resolve for something before in my life.